computer idiot!

Computer jokes

Word Perfect Help Line


This is a true story from the WordPerfect help
line. Needless to say the help desk employee was
fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
WordPerfect organization for "Termination
without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former
Word perfect Customer Support
employee:

"Ridge Hall computer
assistant; may I help
you?"

"Yes, well, I�m having
trouble with WordPerfect."

"What
sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just
typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."

"Went
away?"

"They
disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does
your screen look like
now?"

"Nothing."

"No
thing?"

"It�s blank; it won�t
accept anything when I type."

"Are
you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out?"

"How do I
tell?"

"Can you see the C:
prompt on the screen?"

"What�s a
sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you
move the cursor around on the
screen?"

"There isn�t any
cursor: I told you, it won�t accept anything I
type."

"Does your monitor have a
power indicator?"

"What�s a
monitor?"

"It�s the thing with the
screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it�s
on?"

"I don�t
know."

"Well, then look on the back
of the monitor and find where the power cord goes
into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I
think so."

"Great. Follow the cord
to the plug, and tell me if it�s plugged into the
wall."

".......Yes, it
is."

"When you were behind the
monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just
one?"

"No."

"Well,
there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other
cable."

".......Okay, here it
is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me
if it�s plugged securely into the back of your
computer."

"I can�t
reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see
if it
is?"

"No."

"Even if
you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over?"

"Oh, it�s not because I
don�t have the right angle - it�s because it�s
dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes
- the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the
window."

"Well, turn on the office
light then."

"I
can�t."

"No? Why
not?"

"Because there�s a power
outage."

"A power... A power
outage? Aha, Okay, we�ve got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing suff
your computer came in?"

"Well, yes,
I keep them in the closet."

"Good.
Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it
back to the store you bought it
from."

"Really? Is it that
bad?"

"Yes, I�m afraid it
is."

"Well, all right then, I
suppose. What do I tell
them?"

"Tell them you�re too stupid
to own a computer."